why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
Someone signed my nipple.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
