it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
Randomize
