Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
