he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
We need to feng shui this bitch.
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