he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Randomize
