Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
I love you.
Bad choice
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