For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
