If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
