Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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