please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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