I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Randomize
