So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
