fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
