I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
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