your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
