god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
Randomize
