i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
My nipple is on Facebook.
I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
They should really pass out barf bags in church
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
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