I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
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