3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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