dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
