it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
Randomize
