You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Randomize
