So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
