I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
Randomize
