We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
Randomize
