I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
