i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Your penis caused this!
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Randomize
