I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
