P.S. I can't hear my feet
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Randomize
