Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
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