yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
