Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Randomize
