this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
