i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize
