So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Randomize
