Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
