Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
This is the high leading the old right now
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
Randomize
