i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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