Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
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