I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
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