ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
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