We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
