so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
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