don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
