I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Randomize