I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
Randomize
