$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
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