how hairy? two words: wookie tits
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize