she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
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