I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
Randomize
