Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
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