If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
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