She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
