This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
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