Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
Randomize
