What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Randomize
