Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Randomize
