drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
