Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize