SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
handjob tips. give me some.
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Randomize
