and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
Randomize
