I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Randomize
