I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
