I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
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