You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Randomize
