dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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