after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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