Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Randomize
