I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
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