i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
