their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Randomize
