it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
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