i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
Randomize
