4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
