some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
i now understand why vodka
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
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