You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Randomize
