i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
