my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Randomize
