is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
