I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
