I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
