census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
How naked do you want me to be?
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
